Nici and I got up pretty early and set out for Hamlen, the pied piper town. THERE WERE RATS EVERYWHERE. Rat pictures, rat statues, a golden rat on the tip of a bridge, rat stones in the cobble walkway, rat souvenirs, a can of rat fillet, rat socks, everything that you would imagine to bring me pain in remembering Alberto Knox. It was such a gorgous town. the streets were really narrow, and lined with houses, like a city consisting of only squares and allies. The squares had shopping stores from all countries, weird eateries, and insanly old and beautiful buildings. With all of that of course, is the fact that Nici is starting to grow on me. And i know Im growing on her. There is nothing fake about her, even though sometimes it makes you uncomfortable that she doesnt screen anything she says, bordering on being socuially impolite, its like were close family... I dont have to pretend to be haveing a good time, so when I am happy its 100% genuine,and she doesnt have to pretend to be aggreeable. Its just like the familiarity you would use with someone whom youveknown for your whole life. Someone who you can take advantage of the fact that the social norm doesnt have to be applied.
She also mentioned many times how much I reminded her of mom, like when we were in the pool together she said since she had spent so much of the summer with mom just soaking in public pools, it really brought her back. Which I thought was sweet, sometimes all that you need is to be reminded of the person to think fondly of them again. She said she would love to be in contact with mom after this trip. And not in the condesending way that karen would say it, not in the socialbly polite way that someone would say it either. She says everything like she means it. Half of the time it makes me so uncomfortable, half of the time I love it so much.
The town had such history and alurre, I was glad this time to be there for the hours that we were. Sometimes I hate how active nici is, sometimes its just right. We just walked around aimlessly, stopped to eat at one of the outside cafe's which are sooo nice. I wish america had something comparible. Its all the smells from the outside, and the look of them... I dont know I love it, its so atmosphiric.
People in Europe seem to practically live outside. Its amazing
So in other news im leaveing today to meet karen (who is super mad at me). I dont really care now. I was so upset,m suffering so much last night until jac told me to pretend I was her and not waste my thoughts on some wrinkly hag. So I went to sleep and not a flying rats arsh was given that night. And same today. Its like all of the sudden I know how Im going to handle it and I feel like I can do anything now. Make my own fun in Prague, now care what Karen thinks, be Jac, be nici. And its all so much brighter this morning. I do wish I was staying at nicis for the rest of the summer in a way, because I feel so comfortable in her house... its werid because in ALL the houses Ive been to this trip Ive allways felt so homesick the first week I could throw up. I havent felt that for two seconds here. Maybe its because its a very comfortable house, or maybe its because nici made herself so familiar, so family like, that I had no choice but to be comfortable.
But the thing is, I had the courage to take this trip, I had the courage to throw myself into an unknown territory, when a chance to come home was offered I pushed it through, I stood up and told oma I couldnt lie about the tickets, dived off the 5 meter board at the pool, and I am going to have my prague. I will have my prague if it kills me. This is my dream, its my time, everyone else and everything else is backround noise to me now. I see it so clearly. Its as simple as pretending to be Jac.